Crystallizing ideas

The latest step in my self-improvement venture is to always articulate my ideas. I am no longer allowed to leave my thoughts vague and unrefined. Instead, they are required to be put into words and clearly defined. This doesn’t necessarily mean they have to be fully fleshed out or the subjects of essays, but they do need to be noted and written. I’m keeping them in a Wunderlist pile called “Essays” but this is actually the first that I have begun. The rest are mere bullet notes. Still, their existence makes me happy. I can now remember what I mean when my wandering brain chances upon something I think was significant, and I have the immediate mental stretch of really figuring out what I mean.

The main concern in doing this is to get rid of “floaty superiority.” Floaty superiority is when you believe that you are thoughtful or retain faith in a certain idea, when no ideas were actually created. When an idea first comes into form, it’s vague and floaty. It is the answer to a question, or a question in of itself. But if it is not hauled down to earth, onto the page and into words, it remains this indefinite mass. At the moment of its birth, on the very fringes of the brain and on the precipice of becoming actual thought, it has the most possibility. It is infinite. It has not fully come into being, so it could be anything. Maybe it’s the best idea ever, one that will solve all our problems and promote the thinker to high status, remembered throughout the ages. It has that potential, while it is lurking on the edges, not yet in view.

Only when faced head on, encircled and inspected, can we know what that idea truly merits. And more often than not, the idea is disappointing. It’s not as good as we thought it was, its possibilities narrowed into one. Maybe it’s decent, worth something. Worth sharing, even. But maybe it’s not worth anything, and will be systematically destroyed, guns pointed 360 around it, so the whole thing disintegrates at once. All that remains is a sad taste in the mouth, and a sting to the ego. A single fading tally mark is its only survivor, fading next to others under “Rejected.”

I don’t want to love my floaty ideas. I don’t want to dwell on possibility and be distracted by infinity. I don’t want to stay in that place of nonexistence. I want to create, I want to think. I want my ideas to take form, and I want to dump words over that form like a coat of paint, covering it and making clearer its outline against the rest. And then I want to harvest it, put it in my “Essays” list, and move on. With a clear mind, I can create new ideas. Some will be annihilated and placed in “Rejected,” some will be carefully folded and later hauled out for further reflection. But all of you ideas in the floaty spectrum? You, you’re not allowed to linger. Come on out, you pussy. I want you, I want to kick punch you and drag you into the foreground. I want to stare at you, naked in all your glory. I want to judge you. And I want you to help me make this world a better place. I want your colors to surround me and follow me when I’m stuck in reality. More than anything, I want you to exist. Come into being, love. The water’s fine.


Dan Harmon on politics and religion

Politics turns us all into fascists. You start to get afraid to say the wrong thing around your friends, and they capitalize on that, instead of going the other way, which is to say – Look. We all have a wolf in us. We all want to chew each other’s throats out. But we’re also all monkeys. We all just want to fucking eat berries. So, let’s try to spiritually realign ourselves. Let’s find the sweet spot. Yeah, right in the middle. That’s what humans are – we’re the monkeys that survived wolves by adopting their practices a little bit. 

But it’s such a bummer. Every four years, I get more and more crotchety, and I don’t know what to do about it. And the young people get so excited, and you don’t want to piss on that. Because of course Obama’s a better president than some fucking clone from a Republic vat in a basement of the Pentagon. Obviously. But that’s like saying Diet Pepsi’s better than piss. Neither of it’s water. Water is what you need. You’re dying of thirst! We need to sustain ourselves. We’re human beings! 

And I feel the same way about religious debate, you know? When people go – oh, are you an atheist or are you one of these snake handler types? I go – oh yeah, like I have to choose between those two? You guys are all on the same side! When you kneel before a fundamentalist god and quiver and go – the Bible’s a newspaper! Here’s what happened last Wednesday in 3000 BC! And also when you’re getting out your slide rule and going – well I won’t know it until I prove it! You all agree on one thing, you’re all on the same side. Because if I said one thing, I could make you all disagree with me. If I said Dan Harmon is God, atheists and scientists would all throw rocks at me. They would all go, you’re wrong, you’re wrong, you’re not God. But maybe I am! Why is that not allowed? That’s the Ralph Nader of religion. But for each of us – you’re God, you’re God, you’re God, you’re God. 

And everyone’s going step right up to the taste test – Do you believe in God or not believe in God? Last name first, first name second? Do you believe in God or not believe in God? Do you believe in God or not believe in God? Choose between math and a story about a guy getting eaten by a whale. You have to choose, you have to choose, you have to choose. No, I don’t have to choose! Because both of those exist. And both came out of my species’ mind. I am capable! I have a processor in my brain that’s more powerful than anything Apple could ever generate, because it’s capable of thinking two things at once, both equally. I am capable of creation. I am capable of mysticism, I am capable of mythology. I am capable of approaching my life from a both logical and mythical perspective, and I’m capable of both. And you want to compromise me, you want me in shackles. Don’t make me choose between Pepsi and Coke, because you’re just pushing corn syrup, that’s it. And I feel that way about politics, and I feel that way about religion, and goddammit I was in a good mood when I came up here.


Harmontown podcast, cleaned up just barely.

Lo Chiamavano King


His name was king

He had a horse

Along the countryside

I saw him ride

He had a gun

I knew him well

Oh I heard him singing

I knew he loved someone


His name was king

He had a brother

His only brother

A peaceful guy

One day they found him

His shirt was red

Two shiny bullets

They found his brother dead


You can see king

Whoa he’s riding

You can see king

That man is searching

Got him by his ankle

Far in his eyes

Sure to find that pillar

Looking for the man


His name was king

He had a horse

Along the countryside

I saw him ride

He had a gun

Oh I knew him well

And when he shot

Oh that man, he never missed.

Ride on, king, ride

You get your man